Dude, Seriously?
by CrayonClown
Summary: Third in the "Bailed Out" series. In a session with Sweets, the couple is forced to disclosed their new relationship. Next in the series is "Nosy Interns".
1. Chapter 1

**This is another followup in the "Bailed Out" series. It is recommended that you read "Bailed Out" and "Best Friend Card" first.**

* * *

"Agent Booth. Doctor Brennan. Welcome. Doctor Sweets is expecting you; go right on in," Sweets' receptionist Judy greeted them as they walked in about fifteen minutes late for their appointment.

Booth opened the door and let Brennan enter the room before him. As she entered, Sweets looked up from his work at his desk and then looked at his watch.

"You're late, again. Guys, these sessions need to be taken more seriously."

"Hey, we're here, right?" Booth pointed out.

"Yes, but you're late, and considering an interesting meeting I had with Cullen this morning, I don't think you guys are in the position to push your luck here. Do you?"

"How much do you think you know?" Brennan asked. She certainly wasn't going to say anything to give them away in the off chance that he didn't actually know what happened.

Booth was actually surprised at the question Brennan provided as a way to give them a little time to mess with the kid. He knew they would have to tell him if Cullen didn't already.

"Well, honestly, Cullen didn't say much. He just said that you guys had something very important to tell me. Then, he said something that I found very interesting. He told me that if you didn't volunteer the information yourselves that I had the authority to suspend Agent Booth, without pay, until you disclose whatever it is you are hiding."

"Hey! We aren't hiding anything. We just haven't had a chance to tell anyone. So, what do you say, Bones; should we tell him?"

"Booth, you heard him. We have to. If we don't you could lose your job! I cannot lose my partner!"

"Would this happen to have anything to do with the two of you getting arrested yesterday?"

"Ugh, is there anyone that doesn't know about that?" Brennan asked incredulously.

"Well, Bones when two very public figures like us get arrested, it is going to be in the news. I am actually surprised that the charges didn't get leaked along with the reports of the arrests."

"Charges? What would these charges be, Agent Booth?" Sweets asked.

He had been curious along with the rest of Washington as the reports came on the morning news. He was sipping the milk out of his bowl of Fruit Loops that morning as he heard the names of his two favorite patients being said, and then he heard the word _arrested_, and he actually dropped the bowl of milk and cereal on the floor getting it all over his new suit and living room floor.

"It was no big deal. We were bailed out and then the charges were dropped. It was nothing." Booth said.

"Booth, being arrested is a very big deal. Especially when you are an FBI agent. I don't think we should be joking so much right now. Sweets could fire you. I'm surprised Cullen didn't last night."

"Wait. You've seen Cullen since your arrest?"

"He, uh…he bailed us out. The locals called him when they found my badge and gun in my clothes."

"Interesting."

"Interesting? What, interesting?" Booth asked, eyeing the kid doctor.

"The way you worded that. They found your badge in your clothing. Why didn't you say that found the badge and gun on you?"

Booth looked to the ceiling wishing with everything he had that the floor would just open up and swallow him whole.

"I wasn't wearing them." Booth said quietly, not looking Sweets in the eyes.

"What, your clothes? Or the badge and gun? Were they in your jacket or something?" He asked digging deeper. He watched on in amusement as Brennan held an unreadable look on her face that almost looked like a smart ass smirk, but he couldn't really tell what she was thinking.

Booth had enough; he couldn't take it anymore, and dragging it out was making it worse.

"My clothes, alright. I was naked. _We_ were naked." He yelled, gesturing back and forth between himself and Brennan. He hadn't meant to blow up and just blurt it out insensitively like that, and he looked over to his Bones and saw the look on her face. It was not angry, like he expected; it was amused. That made him feel a little bit better, but her next words made him want shoot himself.

"In a park. We were naked in a park." She clarified as if he really needed to know the sordid details of their rendezvous.

"Jesus Christ, Bones! Discretion!"

"You're the one who announced that we were naked!"

"Whoa, wait. Just, hold on. Give my brain time to function again after that bombshell. Uh…please tell me you guys were just drunk or something. Please tell me you weren't doing what it sounds like you were doing." He pleaded. "In a park. Please tell me you weren't doing _that_ in a park."

"If by _that_ you mean having intercourse, then yes we were doing _that_ in a park. If we told you otherwise, it would be a lie. Why would you be pleading us to lie to you?" Brennan asked as her browed furrowed in confusion.

"Bones, if you weren't so adorable…I just. He didn't mean he wanted us to lie to him."

"Well, then what did he mean?"

"He just didn't want to think about anyone having sex in the park. Although at his age, he shouldn't be thinking of anyone having sex, ever."

"Agent Booth, please drop the jokes. This is a very serious issue we have. You two were arrested for public indecency. That is a big deal. You're lucky this didn't ruin both of your careers."

"We know. Actually, Cullen gave us his blessing in a weird sort of way. Now not only do we have to see you once a week like we always do, we have to have weekly meetings with him." Booth said.

"Actually, we really need to discuss this step in your personal relationship in addition to how it is going to affect your professional relationship. I am going to recommend a change to the requirement proposed by Cullen."

"Sweets…" Booth said in a warning tone. He knew what was coming. He could read the look on the kid's face.

"I recommend that we increase your session to twice weekly in addition to Cullen's weekly meeting. One session for the professional aspect and the other is for the personal side of things."

"Is this really necessary, Doctor Sweets?" Brennan asked as Booth said, "No way. You've got to be kidding me!"

"Look, Cullen gave me the authority to do as I see fit regarding your partnership long before this ever happened. You do realize that the whole reason you're in therapy to begin with is because the bureau isn't stupid. They saw this coming. Well, not the arrest for indecent exposure…dude, seriously. I just can't…unbelievable."

"Okay, so apparently everyone but us saw this coming. How were we so blind, Bones?"

"I don't know. I knew from the moment I saw you that I was attracted to your proportionate facial features and extremely well defined body structure…"

"Bones! Can you not call me _hot_ in front of the kid?" Booth asked through clenched teeth as he leaned over into her personal space.

"That's isn't what I said…"

"Yes, it is! I have worked with you long enough to be able to decipher your squint talk enough to know that you just said I was _hot_."

"While that is what I _meant_, it isn't what I _said_. It's simple syntax, Booth."

"Whatever, Bones."

"Agent Booth, Doctor Brennan. Could one of you explain to me the nature in the change of your relationship?"

"We have decided to enter into a social contract in which we are engaging in sexual activities." Brennan said calmly and clinically.

"BONES!"

She turned to look at him. "WHAT?" She yelled right back. He hadn't expected that reaction and she could tell because his eyebrows shot up and he jumped slightly back from her as he expected she might decide to use some of her martial arts skills on him or something. "Do you have a problem with what I just said? Because it's true. If you do not want to be in a relationship with me, now would be the time to tell me."

"What? Are you _crazy_? I have waited six _years_ for this. I am not backing out now. It's just…I don't know. Do you have to say it like _that_?"

"I really don't think that my mental state has been compromised."

Booth sighed deeply. "Okay, wow, really? Bones. That's the part of my statement you decided to address? I practically say I have been pining for you for six years, and you comment on my rhetorical question."

"Well, did I or did I not say I found you sexually arousing when we first met earlier?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Look Booth," her voiced had dropped quite a lot, and was much calmer now as she spoke. That was when both of them realized they had been yelling at each other. "I am not stupid. I know, okay? I know what you are trying to get at here. I know you want me to call you my _boyfriend_, and you want to call me your _girlfriend_. I _know_ that…"

"But it isn't you; I know." His voice was much calmer as well. "You don't like labels. I get that, Bones, but can we say we're _romantically involved_ rather than say we're in a _social contract with a sexual component_?

"Okay. Dr. Sweets, I would like to amend my prior statement, if that is alright."

"By all means…" He said. _This was too good! These two are so meant for each other, it was as if they were already married!_

He had seen them banter and bicker before, but this had to be their version of foreplay. He shook that though from his head as Brennan spoke again.

"We are involved in romantic relationship."

"When did this all start?"

"About a week ago." Booth stated.

"This started a week ago, and you're already having sex in the park?" Sweets asked incredulously. He was sure he didn't actually mean to verbalize the question, but he definitely said it out loud. He stroked his hand over his face disbelieving the words that came out of his mouth. "No, don't answer that. That question was out of line."

"Yes, it was." Booth responded immediately, glaring at the young man.

"Who knows? Obviously the arrest reports on the news and in the papers were vague in details that would reveal your relationship status, but so far I count Cullen and myself as being privy to this information. Do the others at the lab know? What about Cam?"

"Caroline knows. She got the charges dropped. So yeah, the only ones who know are you, Cullen, Caroline, and the doofus that arrested us." Booth said.

"And Angela." Brennan added.

"YOU TOLD HER?" Booth yelled. He couldn't believe this. God, he loved Bones, but her discretion left much to be desired.

"Yes, this morning, after she found out about the arrests."

"How _much_ does she know?" Booth asked even though he was sure he could do without Angela knowing the details of his and Bones' sex life.

"Well, she knows about the charges, and that we were having sex in the park. She asked for more details…"

"How much did you tell her?"

"Nothing. What's between us is ours." She said softly looking into his brown eyes. They softened considerably after hearing and processing her words.

He smiled at her and kissed her right then and there, right in front of Sweets as the kid's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as if he had just seen mommy kissing Santa Claus.

After breaking the kiss, the two got up off the couch, as they practically undressed each other with their eyes for a moment, and then told Sweets that he was to tell no one about the development in their relationship before they got the chance to, and then Booth said that they would be in his office and were to not be disturbed under any circumstances.

After the door shut and his brain was functioning again he slapped his notebook and pen of the table in front of his seat and said, "Dude, seriously?"

* * *

**Please review.**

**Jen  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**There is another follow-up to this "Bailed Out" series.. **

**This series should be read in this order:  
"Bailed Out"  
"Best Friend Card"  
"Dude, Seriously?"  
"Nosy Interns"  
"Arrested"**

**Thanks for reading, lovies.**

**XOXO,  
CrayonClown**


End file.
